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Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in Alyssa Baker's LiveJournal:

Monday, September 9th, 2002
3:43 pm
I HATE Cambridge Fuzz
Grrr! This morning I was running a teensy bit late, so when I was on the road next to the school parking lot, I was going a little faster than the 25mph speed limit (35mph, which isn't THAT bad). But, with my luck, that was the day that the coppers were there stopping people. What a load of crap! It makes me really mad because I hardly ever speed, except for going like, 60 on the highway. But of course teh one time I'm going faster than I should, I get stopped. PLUS, I ended up being late anyway because I had to wait for the guy to write me a ticket. That made me SO MAD!!! And why did they have to have THREE cop cars and FOUR officers?!? Duh! THat's like the entire Cambridge squad! What's the point? Let's all blow up the Cambridge police.
Sunday, August 25th, 2002
10:33 am
Survey time
>------------------GENERAL INFO------------------
>Starting Time: 9:50 am
>Date: August 25
>Name On Birth Certificate: Alyssa Michelle Baker
>Nicknames: None that I know of
>Birthday: October 5
>Location: I'm in the family room
>Colour of eyes: blue
>Hair: dark brown, but right now the bottom is also black
>Shoe Size: 7.5
Brothers/Sisters: Colin(19), Brian(9), Ross(7), Reed(3), and stepsister Ade(24?)
>Who lives with you: All of the above except for Ade and eventually Colin
>When is ur bedtime?: When I get tired
>------------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
>Ever been so drunk you blacked out: Nope
>Missed school B/coz it was raining: I don't think so, I'm not that lazy
>Put a body part on fire for amusement: Can't say that I have
>Been in a car accident: Yeah, on the way to the dentist, needless to say, I missed my appointment.
>Been hurt emotionally: Yeah
>Kept a secret from everyone: I try to be pretty honest, but there are those life or death situations.
>Had an imaginary friend: When I was little, I had an imaginary friend named Garfield. But I think I had it mostly just to say that I had an imaginary friend.
>Wanted to hook up with a friend: I did once... not good results.
Cried during a Movie: I still get choked up in A Goofy Movie
>Had a crush on a teacher: No, all of my teachers are/were old or child molesters (ok, so only one was a child molester)
>Ever thought an animated character was real: Of course not
>Been on stage: Of course
>Cut your hair: Oh, a couple of times
>Been sarcastic: Haven't we all?
>Shampoo: Whatever is in the shower, right now I am partial to Loreal Kids Swim Shampoo
>Soap: My sandalwood scented soap.
>Color: I really don't know
>Day/Night: Night can be fun, but there's generally more to do during the day
>Summer/Winter: Summer, I get cold too easily
>Lace or satin: I've never given it much thought, but I'll have to say lace
>Cartoon Characters: Beavis and Butt-head
>Fave Food: Peanut butter, yum
Fave Comercial: I don't know, commercials kind of suck.
>fave Movie: Beavis and Butt-head Do America (actually it's not, my mom bought it yesterday and it was the only thing I could think of)
>Fave Ice Cream: Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
>Fave Subject: Choir because people sing loud and bad and it's funny
>Fave Drink: alcoholic: I don't know...
non-alcoholic: Red Bull (thanks a lot Colin)
>Fave Person to talk to online: Dylan is silly
>------------------RIGHT NOW------------------
>Wearing: Green shorts and a tank top
Hair is: In a ponytail
I'm feeling: allergy-y and awake
>Eating: Not a thing
>Drinking: I just finished a Red Bull
>Thinkin about: "Hmmm... what AM I thinking about?"
>Listening to: Crickets, cars, and computers
>Talking to: Nobody
>Watching: The computer screen

>---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
>Cried: No
>Worn a skirt: No
>Met someone New: I didn't actually meet them, but last night I saw Harry and James and they were with a couple of people I didn't know
>Cleaned your room: No, but I REALLY need to do that soon.
>Drove a car: No, I've been camping for the last week
>---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN...........------------
>yourself: Of course!
>Your friends: Yeah, I love you guys! <3 <3
>Santa Claus:No, that's silly
>Tooth Fairy: Yes, that's silly
>-----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
>Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: No
>Like anyone?: A few people a little bit
>Who have u known the longest of your friends: My first friend when I moved to Cambridge was Toni Borchardt, but I don't really talk to her anymore. Of people I hang out with still, I'd have to say Jamie
>Whos the loudest: According to Dylan's mom, I'm extremely loud, but I don't know...
>>Who's the shyest: Maybe Erin
>Who tells the best stories: I'd have to say Courtney because she does really good impressions.
>Whos is the weirdest: Mary says I'm the weirdest. Huh.
>Who do you go to for advice: I don't ask for advice much, so I don't know
>Who do you cry with: I haven't cried in awhile, but I'm usually alone.
>When you cried the most: When my Grandma died
>Whats the best feeling in the world: Performing on stage
Worst feeling: Having your dentist do surgury on your gums while listening to Irish music and not being able to move for, like, two hours.
>who will Respond to this e mail the fastest: Probably no one
>Who did you send this to who wont respond: I have no clue.
>Finish time: 10:33 am
Friday, August 16th, 2002
5:50 pm
1. If you could go on the show BECOMING, who would you become?: Oh, I don't know, 16 Volt
2. What song would you do?: Shit Kick in a Graveyard
3. Do you share a b-day with anyone famous?: Yes, the boyfriend of the older sister on Full House (he was also the voice of Aladdin)
4. Where's the weirdest place you've been?: The Mystery Spot in Wis. Dells
5. Do you look your age?: Colin thinks so.
6. Exactly how tall are you?: Exactly 5'3.75"
7. Have you ever met anyone famous?:The guy that played C-3PO. He was a jerk.
8. Do you have a boring life?: Sometimes
9. What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?: I drove a really annoying kid to Pizza Hut once during finals.
10. Have you ever thought about just skipping school one day? yes
11. You scared to do it?: No, I just tell my mom I'm sick
12. Have you ever gotten in a fight with someone, decided to give them a chance and then they backstabbed you again? Oh, probably
13. Who? Vin Deisel
14. If you woke up as Britney Spears tommorow, what would you do? Go on a killing spree
15. Whats the most courageous thing you've ever done?: I walked to Marks Mini Mart with my friend in fifth grade, but I was scared so I made us bring a baseball bat.
16. Have you ever made up a word? Zamboanga
17. What's it mean?: moderate
18. Whats the coolest word in the entire english language?: rad
19. What would you name your baby girl [list a few..]?: Scarlet
20. What would you name your baby boy [list a few..]?: Don, Lenny, Carl
21. Do you actually get anything out of those dumb magazines [seventeen, teen, cosmo, vouge, ect.]?: I though Seventeen was pretty neat in fifth grade...
22. Whats the worst accident that's ever happened in your kitchen?: I burned my wrist making eggs when I was little
23. What was your first homecoming like?: I'm not that coordinated, so I tend to block such incidents from my mind.
24. What was prom like?: I went with a gay kid
25. What's the worst dance you've ever been to?: The one where they played a bunch of techno crap
26. Remember that old show, "Under the Umbrella Tree"? No
27. What was your favorite show growing up?: Salute Your Shorts, Ren & Stimpy, Ninja Turtles, and My Little Pony
28. Ever gotten drunk?: Accidentally a few times
29. Ever been to a party?: Yes
30. What was it like?: Well, I've been to more than one, some were good, some were bad...
31. Who did you talk to?: Friends
32. Are you social?: I can be
33. What kind of music do you listen to?: Lots of stuff
34. Ever gone to the mall/movies just to hang out?: Yes
35. Ever gone to the store looking like a scrub thinking no one would see you but then you see old friends?: Scrub?
36. What's your most embarrasing moment?: WHen I tried to make an outdoor grill, and it ended up being a huge mess, luckily I sold it to an emo art dealer... oh, wait... that was an episode of the simpsons. I get confused sometimes.
37. Who's the coolest teacher?: Ed
38. What's the easiest class?: Any class with Mr. Grundenn aka Ed
39. What's the hardest class?: Trig, I had to quit because I'm a dummy
40. What's your age limit for dating?: 38
41. Would you ever date someone outside of your social group?: sure
42. Are you in a clique? I don't think so
43. Ever experience unconditional love? No
44. Know what that means? No
45. Write the first thing that pops into your head: Colin, stop saying silly things!!!
46. Type a song lyric: Shit Kick...In a Graveyard!
47. What's your favorite song based on lyrics?: Shit Kick in a Graveyard
48. What's your favorite song based on music?: Itchy-Bitchy
49. What's the funnest trip you've been on?: Funniest trip, eh? Well, I don't know, my dad can be funny when he gets flustered.
50. What's your favorite poem?:
Todd is odd
Todd eats cod
Todd thinks he�s God
Todd can nod
Todd is odd

Todd lives in a pod
Todd�s blood can clod
Todd can pretend his name�s Jean-Claude
Todd�s name is Todd
Todd lives in a pod

Todd has a rod
Todd needed a rod
Todd lost his rod
Todd left his pod
Todd found a rod
Todd has a rod

51. Are you mean? When I have PMS... just ask Colin. I yelled at him because he doesn't like Old Navy.
52. Are you really sweet? Oh yes
53. Ever meet someone putting on a front all the time?: Yeah, I hate it when people put their fronts on.
54. Don't you hate when people do that?: Yes
55. Do you act yourself?: Yeah
56. Have you ever lied about something to seem cooler?: When I was in first grade I told my friend I had asthma because I thought it was cool.
57. Do you wear makeup?: A little sometimes
58. What's "old school" mean to you?: Everything wonderful
59. Don't you love it when someone tells it how it is?: Yeah, unless they say I smell or something.
60. Don't you hate fake people?: I HATE THEM SO MUCH!!!
61. Who has the coolest house [that you've been to]?: My house
62. Do you think most famous people deserve to be famous?: Maybe not most of them, some of them, sure.
63. Ever heard "Youth of a Nation"?: Yes
64. What do you think of that song?: It's kind of retarded.
65. What do you think a gat is?: Goat Ass Tunnel
66. Are you sure? Very
67. Do you like rap? I hate all music and especially rap
68. Are you into the whole rap scene?: I'm not too ghetto
69. What's the best pickup line you've heard?: Hey, Baby (as told by Butt-head)
70. Say you saw a really hot guy at school one day and you had no idea who he was, would you talk to him?: Probably not
71. What would you say to "break the ice"?: Use and ice pick
72. Is "Bootylicious" getting old?: It was always old
73. Do you think question 69 was a coincidence?: I'm guessing yes
74. What time is it?: 5:34 PM
75. Approximately how long did this take to fill out?: A few minutes

1 If I had more time alone, you would: Make Unabombs
2 If you could change anything about the world: George Bush would send me a Para Presidante hat
3 If you had a plane ticket to anywhere in the world, you would visit: Zamboanga
4 If you could live anywhere in the world, you would live: New York City, it's expensive but fun
5 If you could visit any time period, you would choose: 1985
6 If you could live in any time period, you would choose: Now
7 If you could ask God one question, what would it be: Why does Colin listen to Butt Metal?
8 If you could, you would spend time with this famous person: <3 <3 Bob Dylan <3 <3
9 If you could be famous, you would like to be famous for: Being an opera singer or in a band
10 If you could magically change one thing about your physical appearance, it would be: I wish my fingers were longer so it would be easier to play guitar.
11 If you were stranded on a desert island, you would want these 3 people with you: Bob Dylan, Colin (because he's silly), Bill Rieflin
12 The first thing you would do on the desert island: Train monkey butlers
13 The first thing you would do upon your return from the desert island: Drink water
14 If you could change one law: That stupid "No Unabombinb" law
15 If you were in prison, you would spend your time doing: Hiding from big scary butch lesbians.
16 If you could erase one memory: I can't think of anything
17 If you had extra money: Buy a better watch.
18 If you could change the age of your death: I'll worry about that after I actually die.
19 If you could bring back one peson from the dead it would be: Maria Callas
20 If you had wings, you would fly above: Lions
21 If you were the king/queen of your country you would: Go to war with Canada
22 If you were a plant, you would be: A big tree
23 If you were a beverage or cocktail, you would be: NOT BLUE PEPSI!
4:42 pm
George Bush makes me laugh
I sent the following email to the good people at georgebush.com:

From: Alyssa Baker [mailto:alyssa@opendivx.cx]
Sent: Friday, August 16, 2002 2:00 AM
To: Info Services Temp
Subject: We all love george forman

Could you send me a Para Presidante Navy Twill Cap? I do not have the $4.50 to pay for it, but I still want to support the Bush campaign.

Thank you in advance,
Alyssa Q. Einstein

This is what they sent me:

Thank you for contacting the Republican National Committee. The item you requested is not available from this office. I have attached a list of vendors the Committee has dealt with in the hpast. Perhaps one of them can be of assistance to you.

Haha, isn't that funny?
12:32 am
Earlier tonight Colin and I went to the KwikieMart to buy juice and stuff. Inside there was this cop standing around and looking fat, and after Colin went outside, he started commenting on his Lust for Lard shirt. First he was talking about how much he liked pork chops, then he started complaining about the fact that he wasn't allowed to eat them (probably because he was too fat). I found the incident to be quite amusing.
Thursday, August 15th, 2002
6:17 pm
I Suck at the Golfing: Day 2
I really don't know why I agreed to this stupid golf team thing. But I am getting a wee bit better; today I was able to get the ball in the air. Usually it just rolls.

Cambridge is really boring. The front page of the newspaper has an article entitled "Cambridge Subway has found a new home". Another cover story tells about how they changed Lon's to Piggly Wiggly. Why?!
Wednesday, August 14th, 2002
11:05 pm
Dirty Mexicans Scare Me.
For the past couple of days, my friend has been begging me to join the golf team. I finally gave in and went today. Man do I suck. I guess I didn't do that bad, considering that I haven't played in two years. But I had to leave early to get to my voice lesson on time.

When I was finished with my lesson, I was just sitting and talking to my voice teacher when her next student showed up. He was this guy in his late thirties-early forties with a baseball mustache (the ones that kind of droop below their lips.) and what looked like some racing shirt. I wanted to laugh... all I could think was Why the HELL is this guy taking lessons from a former Metropolitan Opera singer? I kind of wished I could have stayed and listened. Oh well.

Tonight me and Colin went to Madison. It was fairly boring, but we did get some free blue Pepsi from Shaq or something, Oh my God that stuff tastes HORRIBLE!!!! I took maybe three sips and said Enough! Colin, being the gross person that he is, drank his. Ewww...
Wednesday, August 7th, 2002
7:27 pm
My hair is red
I dyed my hair red a couple of days ago, and it turned out REALLY red. Oops. Anyway, I am currantly dying the bottom of my hair black at my friend's house. Hopefully my hair wont fall out for over-processing.
Thursday, August 1st, 2002
3:11 pm
We're back in Wisconsin. Tomorrow I have to work from seven to five. Colin asked if I wanted to come with him to Buffalo to see Slick Idiot and I REALLY wanted to go, but there's no way I can get out of working. I can't even begin to tell you how mad that makes me. But I guess it's not the end of the world. They'll tour again someday, hopefully soon. Anyway, that's all for now.
Monday, July 29th, 2002
4:46 pm
IdaWho? IdaYou!
Today is the third day of our journey to Idaho. This place is kind of boring, since there's not much other than really expensive shops and antique stores. I found my favorite kind of soap, but while it's 85 cents back home, it was three bucks here. That's yucky.

Last night I was forced to sing for all of my dad's business buddies while we were on a dinner cruise. I don't think I sang all that well, but oh well. It made them happy and that's all that matters. When I was finished, I asked if I was going to get paid for my performance; they all laughed. I was serious. :(

Tonight we will be going out to another restaurant. I've been warned not to eat the Rocky Mountain Oysters. In case you don't know what they are, they're deep-fried sheep testicles. If I unknowingly ate any kind of testicle, I think I would cry.

I was going to go to this karaoke bar with my dad and his friends after the cruise, but I got kicked out for being underage, even though I was with my dad. Grrr. That was annoying. Then I went back up to our room and fell asleep.

There's this guy on the trip whose extremely rich and very proud of it. He decided that he was tired of flying commercial airlines, so he rented a private jet.

Anyway, that's all for now.
Saturday, July 13th, 2002
12:54 pm
Inside Out
Okay, what do I say? Colin seems to think that he's the coolest ever, but we all know that's not true. I find it easiest to just let him think that.

I was going to go to the Art Fair on the Square, but I woke up too late. Oh, well. Maybe tomorrow.

Last night I watched the weirdest movie ever. It was called Smokers, and the first fifteen minutes or so made absolutely no sense at all. I think it was about these girls that went to a boarding school in Wisconsin (oh yeah!!!) who always had their faces painted for some reason. Then they decided to rape all the guys they knew at gunpoint because they were angry. But it ended up to be that they all got raped, one of them died in a fire and one shot someone. And that's how it ended. The best part was when this guy in a limo was trying to rape someone and the limo driver was just sitting there watching. Hmmm...there sure was a lot of raping going on. I highly recommend this movie to anyone considering a career in raping or Child-Molester Van sales.

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